


Like A Tower

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Breakup, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Courtney has been lying for too long, and it finally breaks her.





	

Courtney picked up her suitcase, heart heavy as she looked around the house one final time. She held herself back from tracing the outlines of all the door frames, and the cracked molding along the walls. It seemed a silly thing to do, but knowing that she would never again look out that window that never shut properly, made her head spin. The window screamed at her as she made for the door, and she could swear that the beaten up old couch was glaring at her. She didn’t dare look in the bedroom, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to resist falling into the sheets and smelling them until her eyes watered. She had never liked those sheets. They were always too scratchy. But in that moment Courtney knew that no matter how many times she had complained to Willam about them, she loved them. She loved him.

And with that thought she shut the door behind her. The key felt increasingly difficult to raise to the door, but she finally turned it, and the bolt clicked into place. The weight in her chest was increasing with each passing second. The farther she got from here the better she would feel, or at least she hoped so. The sound of the engine of her car roaring to life, brought a fresh wave of guilt crashing into her stomach. It was the feeling that always accompanied her after she made a mistake. But this wasn’t a mistake, it just felt like it.

The drive passed in a haze, and she tried to ignore her pain and regret in the rearview mirror. Her thoughts were running so fast that she couldn’t hear them well. It felt as if she was on auto pilot. The images of Willam coming home to find her gone, kept going through her mind. What would he say? What would he do? Could he ever forgive her? She could see him looking around confused for a moment and then the face he would make when he finally realized what she had done. Courtney tried to stop herself from imagining what he would think when he saw the ring on the dining room table. She couldn’t even imagine what he would feel when he read her note. Courtney kept driving. She wasn’t quite sure where she was headed, but anywhere felt better than that house.

Her phone rang twice before she looked at the caller ID. She tried to ignore the rush of butterflies that filled her stomach at the sight of Willam’s name. The name popped up again and again. Willam always was persistent. She gave in after a while and pulled into an abandoned parking lot. She shut the car off and pulled her phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Court.”

Willam sounded crushed. His voice was full of hurt. And Courtney’ s heart shattered. “I’m so sorry.”

“What is going on Court? Where are you? Are you ok?” Willam’s voice was so small and so genuine that she couldn’t help the tears that fell in response to the pitiful sound.

“I’m so sorry Bill.”

“What happened?”

Courtney tried to compose herself enough to offer an explanation, but nothing sounded right. “I just couldn’t do it. I know it is what you wanted so I tried, I really tried, but I cant marry you. I just can’t.”

“That’s ok. We don’t have to get married or be engaged. It’s fine Court. We can just start over and pretend it never happened.” He sounded desperate. He was saying anything he could to get her to come back. She knew he didn’t mean it, and that just dating would never be enough for him. Courtney thought of this as a necessary step. Courtney could never be the person Willam wanted her to be. So no matter how much it hurt the both of them, it was for the best.

She tried to remain calm when she spoke, “You don’t understand Bill, please, you just don’t understand.”

“Come home and explain it to me. Please just come home.” Willam’s voice was breaking now, and Courtney knew he was crying. She knew she was killing him by leaving.

He had proposed two months ago, after they had eaten a wonderful home cooked meal and watched the sun set. Willam wasn’t usually the romantic type, which is why it was such a big deal for him to be the one to propose in the first place. Courtney had been shocked. The shock didn’t properly wear off until a few days ago when she realized how unprepared she was to get married. This realization came with a mountain of guilt attached to it, because she and Willam had talked about their future before. Courtney had said she was open to the idea of marriage and even endorsed it to a point. They had made plans, tentative ones, but plans none the less. She had no idea what she had been thinking.

So Courtney did what Courtney does best in situations where she seriously fucks up, she runs away. She knew she was hurting Willam in an unforgivable way. Willam was the opposite of emotional. He kept everything bottled up and never let his true feelings show. It was a big deal for him to open up to Courtney and trust her so completely with his heart. He had never done that before. She had known this, and still had broken it. She had broken him.

“I can’t. I just need some time.” She was trying to keep from full on sobbing into the phone, but the memories of them together came back full force and she could barely whisper.

There was a long pause before Willam finally answered. “Ok.” Another long pause. “I love you.”

Courtney sucked in a breath, and held back the scream she so desperately wanted to let out. “I love you too.“


End file.
